Moving On

Ok I got the idea for this story from Hawkers episode hint thing that he gives at the start of each episode discussion and on a personal level, Mike decides to let the past stay in the past... but will it?

So I had to write it down.  Hope you enjoy.  It more about what Mike might be thinking.

I so not own Sea Patrol or its characters

Mike is on the boat deck of Hammersley watching the sun setting.  He is sitting down in an area which makes it hard to see him from the deck above but he can still see the sun set.  He is alone and thinking to himself.

The last few weeks have been interesting and frustrating.  The possibility is high that I am Ryan’s farther.  Maxine is interested in a relationship with me but my heart wont’s someone else.  But Kate, my Kate she no longer wants a relationship with me so I really can’t call her my Kate anymore.  She never seems to won’t to talk about it.  I have tried to get her to meet me outside of work but she always turns me down.  And of course at work well yea not the best place to be talking about our personal relationship, well what personal relationship.

I am finding it hard to stay professional when I am hurting.  I properly deserve it, after how things ended years ago.  But she keep asking me when we will get a new CO, I know I held off but after the sub.  I thought we had agreed to what would happen.  I know she must be pissed about not getting the promotion.  But I was prepared to do whatever it took, including talking to fleet command about my posting.  Then she somehow finds out that I had been to fleet command and that I would resign the next thing she is calling it all off  and telling me it is over and that she no longer wont’s a relationship with me.  My heart broke when she said this.

I can’t take this anymore.  I can’t sit in this chair and see her every day and know that there is no hope for us.  I can’t sit here and watch her be happy with someone else.  I won’t her to be happy but I can’t stay around and watch it.  It hurts to much even thinking about it.

I have not told the crew yet that this is my last patrol.  And that in Three days’ time I will no longer be their CO.  Yes that is right I am leaving.  I have requested a transfer I went straight to Commander Steve Marshall stating that doing it via my long term friend Maxine would result in it not being done and she is not to know till it happens.  And he has found me a new posting.  He was not happy about the short time frame I gave him, I know 1 week is not that long but thank god the CO of HMAS Larrakia, Jimmy as I know him was happy to do it for me after ringing me and asking me what the hell was going on.  At least with Jimmy I know Hammersley and her crew will be well looked after.

Some may say I am running away.  Others may say I am a coward.  Some may say fight her or take what the other one is prepared to give you.  But how do you fight for someone, when that person doesn’t won’t you to fight.  Do I repeat history and leave?  Or do I do the right thing and leave her letter telling her. 

In four Days I will be on another Patrol Boat.  Three days to work out how to tell her.  In four days she will board Hammersley and find Jimmy on board and not me how will she react?  Will she be happy that I am out of her live again? Or will she be sad, pissed off, or upset that I have left.

Maybe I should write a letter and get Jimmy to give it to her when she boards in four days’ time.  God why is this so dam hard to do, to decide how to tell her.  It it’s not like we are together.  But I am still worried how she will handle it, how am I meant to handle this.  How do you tell the one person who is your soul mate?  Your life, you’re every thought before you go to sleep and when you wake up, for the past nine years that you are leaving.  The one person who has the other half of your heart, and has had it for the last nine years.  Even if she never wonted it she has it and will always have it.

Three days to work it all out before I step off Hammersley for the last time and fly to Darwin to take over Jimmy’s crew.  Jimmy will be in Cairns when we dock.  He is coming to see me before I leave Hammersley for the last time.  His boat is on leave they head back out the same day Hammersley does. Hammersley is on a tight turn around less than 24 hrs in dock.  His crew has just had 2 weeks off.

Mike gets up once the sun has set it is now dark and he heads to his cabin to check his emails.